As an adult child caring for your elderly parent in home hospice, the challenge of balancing your personal life with caregiving responsibilities can be overwhelming. You're likely juggling your career, family commitments, and personal needs alongside the demands of providing care. This article offers strategies to help you manage your time more effectively and maintain your well-being while caring for your parent.

Understanding Your Challenge

Caring for your parent in home hospice is essentially a full-time job that you've taken on in addition to your existing responsibilities. You may struggle to balance your career, raising your kids, keep your relationships with your spouse and friends strong, and maintain your health, all while maintaining both the physical and emotional care of your parent.

It can be a lot for anyone.

The key to managing this complex situation is to approach it systematically, prioritizing tasks and making the most of available resources.

Strategies for Effective Time Management

1. Understand Your Responsibilities

By stepping into the role of caregiver for your parent in hospice, you are taking on a collection of new responsibilities. It can be difficult to remember all of these new tasks while also keeping track of everything else you already do in your regular life.

Make a list of all of your day-to-day tasks, broken down by day of the week, and time of day, if needed.

2. Be Realistic About What You Can Handle

Carefully examine your list. Are there any tasks you can get help with? Are there any things you can stop doing, or at least reduce? Perhaps you need to outsource some of the tasks by hiring help.

Figure out what tasks actually belong on your list, and what tasks can be eliminated or moved over to other people’s lists.

3. Schedule Your Tasks

Now its time to put your time-oriented tasks on a calendar. A tool like Google Calendar can be helpful because it can send you reminders at predetermined intervals before your tasks are due, while more visually-oriented people might prefer a paper planner or even a wall calendar.

Suggested items to include are:

• Your work hours, especially if the change from week to week

• Your caregiving shifts

• Family commitments

• Personal time - don’t forget this! It is easy to lose yourself in caregiving, but you are supporting a lot of different people right now. Don’t forget to support yourself!

• Household chores (if they need to be done on a particular day)

Having everything scheduled out can help you know which days will be busier and which days will give you more time for a more leisurely meal or a little quiet time. You also can know at a glance when to schedule nurse visits or doctors’ appointments.

4. Utilize Technology

Several apps and tools can streamline your caregiving tasks:

• Medication reminder apps - don’t underestimate how helpful these can be on super busy days!

• Care coordination platforms for family communication - these can be great if you are the primary caregiver and other family members constantly check in with you for updates. Having one place online - which can be as simple as a shared Google Doc - can enable everyone to get the information they need, while also freeing up your time and mental space.

• Telehealth platforms for virtual doctor visits - ask your provider if this is a service they offer, as it can save you tons of time and energy.

Embracing these technologies can save you significant time and reduce your stress.

5. Create Routines

Establish daily and weekly routines for both you and your parent. Routines can help tasks feel more manageable and reduce decision fatigue. They can also provide a sense of stability (and variety!) for your parent.

6. Set Realistic Expectations

Understand that you can't do everything perfectly. Set realistic goals and be kind to yourself when things don't go as planned. Adjust your expectations and priorities as needed. And if something doesn’t get done today, remember that there is always tomorrow.

Also, as mentioned before, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Maybe you used to be able to do 10 different tasks in a day, but due to a busy week at work, or a sick child, or just being emotionally exhausted yourself, you can only do 5-7 this week. Remember that you are doing your best, and give yourself plenty of grace.

The best way to ask for help is to be very specific. Ask your friend if they would grab 6 specific items for you during their next grocery run. Ask your children if they will please sit with their grandparent every day for 30 minutes starting at 5 so you can start to make dinner. Ask your husband if he will put the kids to bed tonight so you can take a relaxing bath after a hard days work.

7. Learn to Say No

This one is tough, but remember: it's okay to decline additional commitments that don't align with your current priorities. Be honest with yourself and others about what you can realistically handle. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish, and there is no need to feel guilt.

8. Seek Support

Join a caregiver support group, either in-person or online. Sharing experiences with others in similar situations can provide emotional support and practical advice. We have a monthly Caregiver Support Group for this very reason! Learn more about it here.

Remember, balancing caregiving responsibilities with your personal life is challenging, but effective time management can make it more manageable. Perfection isn't the goal – doing your best with the resources available is what matters. Prioritize tasks, delegate when possible, and don't neglect self-care.

If you're consistently feeling overwhelmed despite implementing these strategies, it may be time to consider additional professional help or alternative care arrangements. Caring for your parent in home hospice is a profound act of love and commitment. By managing your time effectively, you can provide quality care while maintaining your own well-being, allowing you to be more present and supportive during this important time with your parent.